Category Archives: Janelle’s Jibberish

Astrology as Therapy Continued

Yesterday I talked about discovering the full spectrum of a person’s astrological chart. I talked about how as a lunar Pisces I’ve attracted a lot of bullies, most of which have had Aries as their moon sign.

Today I want to kind of clear things up. I said yesterday that I absolutely cannot tolerate a lunar Aries. That’s actually not true at all. I said that because of my top 3 bullies, 2 had an Aries moon sign and the other had Leo moon sign. Maybe it’s something about fire in their core that makes them behave the way they do.

I have known several lunar Aries that I get a long with. I think it just depends on what their sun sign is. My dog, for example, is a solar Pisces. But that doesn’t really fit her. She can be really sweet and loving but she just does not fit into that description. Once I discovered that she is a lunar Aries, it made sense. At her core, she only cares for herself. She is just really selfish and self serving, although she’s not a bully. We always make jokes about her big and self-centered personality. She’s charming though, I think because it’s combined with gentle Pisces. (Yes, I did look up my dog’s astrology chart. I’m cool like that.)

Another lunar Aries I know is a solar Cancer. I love Cancerians very much. This particular Cancer I have had struggles with, but overall we got a long pretty well.

Lunar Pisces and Lunar Scorpios are made for each other. Lucky for me I grew up in a home where I had two brothers, one sister and a mother all with Scorpio as their moon sign. My best friend from junior high was a lunar Scorpio and she was the closest girlfriend I’ve ever had. I get them. There’s nothing mysterious about Scorpio to me at all.

It’s the same with solar Scorpios. I have A LOT of solar Scorpios in my life. Like I mentioned yesterday, both of my children have Scorpio as their sun signs.

Scorpio has this stigma of being cold and vengeful. Still waters run deep is their saying. Do you know what Scorpio really is? Scorpio is extremely similar to Pisces. Where Pisces is overly emotional and not afraid to show it, Scorpio experiences the same emotions but hides them. They hide their feelings really well so the outside world doesn’t know what kind of storms are going on beneath the surface.

My husband is a solar Cancer-Leo cusp. I’ve read over and over that Cancer and Taurus make a really great pair. I don’t need astrology to tell me that. I can feel it. Our lunar signs aren’t entirely compatible but we have the same goals, just go about them in entirely different ways. Both of our overall charts work really well together. We share common goals. We are kind and gentle with each other. We both love each other with all our hearts. He just makes me so feel so happy.

Yesterday I complained about the bullies I’ve attracted but I’ve also attracted a lot of sweet wonderful people. Most of the people in my life have been sweet and wonderful. I’m so thankful to have so many great relationships full of love and kindness. I’m thankful to have learned Astrology and that it’s helping me to understand that which I can’t comprehend otherwise. I believe with knowledge and understanding I can let go of the hurt, hold onto the love, and grow.

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Astrology as Therapy

I can be obsessive. Right now, I’m obsessed with Astrology. It’s answering so many questions and putting together so many pieces to help me see the big picture of the relationships in my life. Unfortunately my unrelenting nature, I fear, is driving those closest to me to insanity. But I can’t not talk about it. So, if you’re interested, read on. If not that’s fine too. Hopefully this will provide a break to those I have been talking at most.

I became very interested in Astrology last year when a couple of friends were talking about their compatiblilty with their spouses and children. “I DO NOT get along with Scorpio!” One friend said. “They push all my buttons.” I knew that both of my children were Scorpios and they can be really intense and unrelenting, but they are sweet, charming, warm, loving and wonderful at the same time. I decided to look into this more.

I soon learned all the profiles of the astrological signs and was able to categorize all the people in my life into their signs. It was pretty amazing. I found out why all these people were the way they were and why they do the things they do. It just made sense and was extremely accurate.

After a while though, I would look at three Gemini’s together and compare them. They were so very different. One was an all out bully, another was a manipulator and another was so painfully shy I don’t believe I’ve had more than a few conversations with them in person.

When I would get talking with people about astrology, they would ask my sign. If I just recently met them, they would not see Taurus in me at all. That was confusing to me because I can be so very Tauraen.

I found out, in a very weird way, that there’s an entire chart that determines a person’s personality. There are so many stars and planets in the sky that can have an influence. There are 3 basic star signs that each person has that determines the outline of their overall personality. Once I finally figured out what this meant exactly, everything clicked. It was a huge Aha! moment.

A sun sign is your basic personailty. A moon sign is your emotional self, your unconscious, deepest self. An ascendant is your outer shell that you project to the world, sort of the mask you hide behind. This is what people see as a first impression. The fit together with the ascendant as the outer shell, the sun sign within that shell, and the moon sign inside the sun sign. In many ways the moon sign is the most important as it is your deepest nature.

I’m a solar Taurus, a lunar Pisces and an Aries ascendant. It’s an odd combination but it really makes sense to me. My moon sign is the most dominant and that’s why when I read the description of Pisces all I could think is, “that’s SO me!”.

I’m highly emotional and sensitive. I’m shy and soft spoken. The only way I can confidently communicate my thoughts to you is by writing. I’ve been told basically by everyone that I’m a different person in my writing. That’s because I’m too shy and withdrawn to let everyone know what’s on my mind.

I love solitude. I’m a loner. If I start feeling overly sensitive and insecure I hide away. I stop going out to group activities, stop interacting online and my blog is silent. If there are months where I don’t write, it’s because I’m recharging in solitude.

I am very intrigued by this 3 dominant star signs knowledge. I’ve looked up so many birthdays because I’ve had so many unanswerable questions about the realtionships in my life. Why do I love this person when our sun signs are completely incompatible? Why am I supposedly compatible with a person but we can’t even be in the same room together? I look these people up, find their moon signs and suddenly it clicks. It might be a huge violation of your privacy, but chances are if I know your birthday and birth year, I’ve looked your lunar sign up and deeply contemplated the mechanics of our relationship. And it just makes sense. It is by far, the most helpful and effective form of therapy to me.

As a lunar Pisces, naturally I’ve attraced a lot of bullies. My soft spoken, gentle, passive personality seems to attract the big personalities as they seem to find that they can use me for personal gain. There are several people in my life who have been my biggest bullies. They all have something HUGE in common: They all have Aries as their moon sign!

I looked up the compatiblity of lunar Aries and lunar Pisces and this is what I found:
“It can be very difficult for Aries Moon not to dominate Pisces Moon. Their passivity and unfocused sense of personal direction makes it so easy for Aries to just ride right over them. If they make this pairing work, it is usually Pisces who compromises and ends up feeling unloved and unsupported,¬Ö two things they need desperately. This is a very difficult relationship to make last without irreparable damage.”

These relationships have a pattern. They see me as being passive and generous, take what they want and I tolerate it for a while. Then suddenly, patient Taurus loses patience and puts up a massive fight. These Aries Moons respond with a firey temper and it ends very poorly. Irreparable damage.

It’s a funny thing though. I have Aries as my ascendant so I also have a little fire in my nature. I can be bold and I can fight. When I think of the solar Aries personalities in my life, I smile. I love them dearly. They are playful, fun, uplifting. So why is it that I absolutely can’t tolerate a lunar Aries?

I’m not saying that what’s written in the stars is an abslolute. Obviosuly there’s free will involved. Free will and individuality. What I am saying is that knowing this is so helpful. Helpful to this lunar Pisces who gets hurt so easily and can’t let go of the past to do just that. Let it go. They are just acting on their nature as I am acting on mine.

Thanks for reading my obsessive rambling. ūüôā Has knowing astrology helped you in your life?

Oh, and if you want to look up your signs here’s some websites to do that:
http://www.alwaysastrology.com/index.html
http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal

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I am a mama (a dog story)

Over the past few weeks, we have been making a lot of trips to the vet for one of my dogs.¬† She’s not sickly, but has a chronic condition that had to be checked out by a specialist and¬†last week¬†she had an emergency situation.

That day, I anxiously paced the waiting room at the emergency vet clinic, trying to entertain my toddler for hours.  I was just so worried about my poor little puggy.  I had a lot of time to think.  To reflect, and to realize in a new way that my older pug  will eventually leave this earth.

Luckily she didn’t have a serious problem and she’s not leaving us any time soon. Even so, it’s sad to think that someday my lap will be empty.

Realizing this has made me very very sad.  I got her when I was just 19.  She was such an obnoxious puppy!  So full of mischeif and spunk.  I had her for 5 years before I was a human mama, and even when I had my child, she still held her place as my first born.

She prepared me for motherhood in so many ways.  She frequently choked on rawhides and I became very good at the finger sweep.  Once my baby choked on something, and it was just second nature to sweep it out.  She teethed.  My baby teethes. 

There are so many events that happened with the baby that happened with the pug.¬† It’s remarkable!

We were 5 years into our marriage before we had a child.¬† People often asked us when we would have a baby.¬† Of course we planned to, but people being nosy made me so mad.¬† I would always sarcastically say “We have two!” (referring to¬†our two pugs)¬† and some people actually took me seriously.

But I was serious, even though I was being sarcastic.¬† My pugs are my babies.¬† They are my children and I would do anything for them.¬† It’s hard to see them have health issues.

I am so happy that they are a part of my life.  I am so happy I have been a mama for almost 6 years.  I am so happy that they get a long so well with my human child. 

I hope Bodie gets better soon.¬† I don’t know what I would do without her.

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Friday Favorites: Mr. Crab

Today was a big day.¬† My husband graduated one of the longest, most difficult trainings the US Military has to offer.¬† This training has a 14% graduation rate, and he’s finished.¬† He did so well and I am so proud of him.¬†

It was emotional watching him get his crab pinned on. Not only has it been intense for him, but it has been for me too.¬† It’s finally over and our life will change forever.¬† I love him so much, and I couldn’t be more proud of him.¬† He is an amazing person and always does so well with what he sets his mind to.¬†

Congratulations to my Love!

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Friday Favorites: My Birthday Boy

Well, today’s the day; my¬†baby’s now a toddler.¬† Today we’re celebrating his first year of life.¬† I’m very emotional about it but not in the way that I thought I would be.¬† Instead of mourning the fact that his babyhood is complete, I’m so happy that we have had the time together and that our family is so close and so happy.

A full year has come and gone since he was born.¬† We’ve now had a full year of breastfeeding, diaper changes, washing diapers, sleeping next to each other, toting¬†him around on our bodies, trying to keep him happy while he cut teeth, and¬†a full year of taking it one day at a time.¬† It’s been a year of¬†lullabies, cuddles, open mouth kisses, and dancing.¬† We’ve gone through milestone after milestone and watched our son grow so much.¬† 2 days ago he took his first steps and he has a very large vocabulary.

I’m looking forward to the next year, and every year after that, and every year after that.¬† Being a parent is an amazing thing, I can’t believe how it’s made me feel and how it’s changed me.

I still can’t believe that it’s been a full year since he was born.¬† After we were moved to our recovery room in the hospital, Grandma went home and Daddy went to sleep.¬† It was very late, but my adrenaline rush kicked in even though my body was so physically tired.¬† I lied there in the bed with my newborn on my chest, skin to skin.¬† He had just finished his second meal and we were both very content.¬† He looked up at me, and I looked down at him.¬† I felt a bond forming, one that had already been there but was now getting better.¬† Every day we have had these special moments and I love him so much.¬† I have to say, this past year has been my favorite year of ¬†life.

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A Silent Anniversary

Last Thursday I quietly celebrated an anniversary that’s very meaningful to me.¬† I’ve been a vegetarian for two years.

I celebrated quietly because I took a 24 hour vow of silence.  I did it for many reasons, but mostly to reflect on my two lives; the life before I gave up meat, and the life after.  I took a day of silence to remember the lives that were taken for me, and to pay respect to them. 

I learned some amazing things by shutting my mouth for 24 hours.¬† I found out how much is going on in my head, it’s busy up there.¬† Since I wasn’t able to communicate verbally, I had to use body language.¬† It’s amazing how much can be said without saying anything.¬† My son and I connected on a new level.¬† I was afraid he might feel ignored so I made it a point to pay special attention to him.¬† My husband and I also connected in a new way.¬† I quietly listened to him, we watched movies and cuddled.¬†¬† It was a very specail day.¬† I’d like to do it again because¬† I feel I have more to learn.

I’m not going to talk about why I have given up meat.¬† There are so many reasons, and to me, they are really good reasons.¬† I am going to say that I have never felt better.¬† Both emotionally and physically.¬† Since going meatelss, I’ve had a healthy full-term pregnancy, exclusively breastfed my baby for 6 months, and now continue to breastfeed with the supplementation of solid foods.¬† Even will all these changes to my body, I can honestly say I have never been healthier in my life.

Following my moral compass has brought me so much happiness and meaning to my life.

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What is Attachment Parenting?

Before I say much, I want to tell any readers about myself a little bit.¬† I strive for simplicity in life.¬† I don’t like things to get overcomplicated and I think people in general are just that- overcomplicated.¬† When making important life decisions, I try to tap into my natural instincts.¬† I feel that people are still just animals¬†and so deep inside those natural instincts are there.¬† I often think of scenarios as if I were living in the natural community in a cave somewhere,¬†surviving off foraged food.

When I was pregnant I often imagined what it would be like to raise a child in the natural community.  I decided to try natural childbirth.  I would try to breastfeed as if my life depended on it, babywearing seemed like a must (there are no strollers in the natural community [there are also no babycarriers, just arms, but babycarriers make carrying a baby easier]), and I felt sleeping next to my child was absolutely necessary.  The reason for this is that if I lived in a cave, I would never put my newborn baby in the next cave over just so I could get better rest.  I would protect my child from danger with my life, even while sleeping.  I feel that co-sleeping, for me, insured the survival of my baby.

Now I know that I don’t live in the natural community, I live in the comfort of a home and so these laws of survival don’t necessarily apply to me.¬† I don’t really care.¬† Why shouldn’t they apply to me?¬† In the case of co-sleeping it did.¬† If he was having irregular breathing or needed me for something, I wanted to be right there.¬†

These ideals I had developed are the very core of attachment parenting.¬† Only I didn’t know it.¬† I began hearing the term on natural parenting blogs and I didn’t understand what it entailed.¬† I would ask blog authors for more information about it and they would simply point me to a book -” The Baby Book” by Dr. William¬†and Martha Sears.

I had a hard time finding it.¬† It wasn’t in my local library (hello Southern culture).¬† In my 34th week of pregnancy I found it at Babies R Us of all places.¬†¬† I briefly flipped through it and I was sold.¬† It contained everything I had already decided and more.¬† More that went along with these ideals.

I was very irritated that these blog authors never explained what attachment parenting was.¬† If they were going to talk about it, and how wonderful it is for them, why don’t they define it?

Now I’m not irritated at them.¬† I should do my own research and it’s not their job to educate the world.¬† They know what it is, most of their readers know what it is, so why go into deeper detail?¬† I have found that there really is no information online about the topic, only opinions of parents (who rave about it).¬† The only real information is in the Baby Book.¬† So if anyone has more questions, I recommend this book.¬† In fact, I recommend this book to all parents and parents-to-be.¬† I recommend looking through it with an open mind and making an educated decision about how to raise your children.

That said, I have taken it upon myself to educate readers about it.  I am going to define it by using the information presented in Dr. Sears Baby Book.

First of all, it’s important to remember that attachment parenting is an ideal.¬† It’s not a set of strict laws.¬† If these ideals are practiced, even just a little bit, strong bonds form between parents and their children.¬† The term attached is referring to a great benefit- a child will become attached to their parent instead of a blanket, toy or pacifier.

There are “7 B’s” of attachment parenting.¬† Think of them as tips or suggestions for parents and babies to bond easier.

1. Birth Bonding;¬†meaning that parents should plan for a pleasant birth experience and for early bonding with their babies.¬† This often means rooming¬†in¬†together at the hospital if at all possible.¬† Natural childbirth is encouraged, but a mother should never feel guilty about anything when it comes to childbirth,¬†it’s a situation that tends to have its own plan.

2. Belief in your baby’s cries- Read and respond to your baby’s cues; this strongly appealed to my mama instincts.¬† I feel that babies don’t cry to annoy their parents- they are trying to communicate.

3. Breastfeed your Baby; anyone who has been reading my blog don’t need to read my input.¬† I am all for breastfeeding.¬† Attachment parenting is still practiced with bottle fed babies.¬† There are many situations that¬†can be¬†out of our control and breastfeeding happens to be one of them.¬† The Baby Book has a section on bottle feeding with love.¬† Attached parents don’t choose bottle feeding over breastfeeding.

4. Babywearing- Carry your baby a lot; holding your baby close has so many benefits.  This is a blog post in itself.

5. Bedding close to baby; for me and many parents this means co-sleeping.¬† But co-sleeping is not a cure-all situation and I know it doesn’t work for everyone.¬† If¬†someone¬†doesn’t want¬†their¬†baby in their bed, keep them in a bassinet close by or in a crib in the same room.¬† This ensures that in the night¬†a parent¬†will be there for¬†the baby.¬†¬†They will be able to respond before complaints get out of control and turn into an all-out cry.

6. Balance and Boundaries; Babies are demanding.¬† That is the simple truth.¬† It’s hard to tend to their every whim and to be honest, that should not happen.¬† Setting boundaries at an early age simply prevents problems from developing.¬† Parents should be appropriately responsive to their babies, and The Baby Book has the answers to every question I have ever come upon.¬† I feel it’s important to note that when practiced wisely, attachment parenting is not an all out give-a-thon.

7. Beware of baby trainers;¬† This is something that appeals to my sensitive side and I’ve felt strongly about this subject even before I knew about attachment parenting.¬† Parents should be warned that when it comes to children, everyone has their opinion and will let you know it.¬† It’s good¬†practice to listen, and make an educated decision about everything.¬† For attached parents, warning flags fly when terms like, “Just let them cry it out,”¬† “You need to get that baby on a schedule”, “You’re spoiling your child because you hold them too much,”¬† or “You’re still nursing?” are thrown around.¬† Following these pieces of “advice” lead to a baby who doesn’t trust their parents to help them in their time of need.

Attachment parenting is, in my opinion, a good way to parent.¬† It’s not the only way and it doesn’t work for everyone. I cannot stress enough to everyone, please do your own research and make an educated decision for your own children, families, and based on your personal situation.

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